Bounded With Grace

Listen to...

2012-02-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

ADELE - I'll Be Waiting

2012-01-14T12:31:00.000+08:00

I don't want to just go through life, instead I want to live my life.

a taadaa day?

2012-01-13T01:25:00.003+08:00

And so, here we are - Friday.

I have a 8 o'clock class to attend, more of like a trial attend class for a subject I am intending to enroll for if I decided to drop accounting today. I hope I will know what I will be doing later.

I should be sleeping soundly now, but I am not, eventhough I am terribly sleepy and my head and neck hurts so very very much. I am worried that if I sleep at this late hour of 0130, I might not be able to wake up at 0600 as I have planned. Because I do not want to be late. I hate that.

I hope that alarm clock will successfully wake me up. Because it is my last resort of waking up early. Good night!

disconcerted view

2012-01-11T08:45:00.006+08:00

Hi everyone! How was Christmas? I hope the new year is going well for everyone. =]
I have been away, again, I know. Believe me, it's so hard to start writing (or in this case typing) sentences that forms so rapidly and goes away in the same manner. I think I am slipping.

I would love to try to post consistently now since I am in the middle of trying out some new habits that I can develop to lead me to becoming a better me?

Anyway, the new semester had just started. I am again feeling paranoid about the subjects I am enrolling myself in. Because I still have a very large part of my old self with me; although I have come to terms with myself that I have finally succeeded partly in defining me. This old part seems to be a very indecisive, very worrisome and also a very selfish part of me.

With the new term starting, I have to decide whether or not I would want to transfer to the States this fall or wait until next fall or spring. Applications for most of the universities are already closed, but the ones that I have my mind on are still open for application for another 2-3 weeks more. With that in mind, here also comes the time for me to declare my major. I have narrowed my options to a few; Business - Accounting / Management , Liberal Arts - Anthropology, History, Linguistic and Fine Arts - Illustration , Film/Video.

Having done that, I guess the things that I want to do are mostly inclined to the liberal arts side. Going the traditional way of getting a business degree in accounting or management makes me feel like I will definitely have a safety net underneath the tightrope I am and will be walking. A sort of one way street in my own definition. Let's face the fact that the other fields that I would like to pursue have a very high level of competition and to be successful and making it to the top ten would have to take perhaps an undefinite time period and a lot of luck. I wish I was a character in the online game Ragnarok. Of course there is a safety net for these field, teaching. I am not so sure I would want to do that. I am personally not a fan of teaching because most of the time I am worried that the people I explain things to, do not understand me or get me. Humans do not work or understand the same things in a same way as others. DNA and psychology proves we are not all the same aren't we?

I guess the thing with me is I am very much undecided and very, very scared of the unknown and the risks that comes with my future. Other than that, it would be the tuition fees and the cost of funding. Though I would very much loved to leave that aside and not bother about it, it is hard. I will try nonetheless. I guess I will be pondering and making that decision in these few days. I will try to keep this place updated. In a way it will become a reminder for myself to move on and do it already.

Dreams are not easy to achieve. Nobody said it was easy anyway.

listening to snow patrol; my thoughts

2011-12-23T03:04:00.005+08:00

I am so scared of running forward because ...

it might not work out right, then it will all be wasted.

2011-10-27T03:18:00.002+08:00

All that you need to do is just be content.

2011-10-24T23:57:00.003+08:00

Have a Little Faith.

2011-10-07T13:34:00.003+08:00

"Can you create a world that only exists between these four walls?"

not an island in sight.

2011-10-01T16:27:00.004+08:00

I'm not guessing, but I'm thinking that it would, afterall, be another quiet weekend. I've decided last minute to not head back north this weekend. It's been quite a hectic week to be honest. And I am not really up to going out for the dinner tonight. Although truthfully I've been quite looking forward to it since last few weeks. I can't help but be a little disappointed that I won't make it this year.

I don't really know what is going on with me and my emotions lately. Well for starters, I've never really blogged about them like this before. (teehee, you may say that I'm quite upfront with some things here before.) I am feeling like a lost boat in the middle of the vast blue ocean. Sometimes when I'm near the shore, the ground is in sight and the seabed can be seen clearly too. But right now I can't seem to find any ground or island to land for just a minute. Not one. I wonder what happened.

Truth be told, I'm feeling really down. I doubt the cover ups are going to last any longer. Perhaps the chase is ending soon?

2011-09-29T09:44:00.001+08:00

YESSSS! RETURN SEASON FOR HARRY'S LAW!!! ;DD
SMILESSSSSS

today -entrynumberthree-

2011-09-21T14:33:00.008+08:00

Things on my mind:

- What happened to the earphones I ordered a week ago?
- I wish Calculus class wounldn't end.
- It's raining so heavily, I can't possibly walk to the station to go home.
- I'm stuck in inti for the day (again.) .
- My earphonesss.
- The pc lab is getting noisier and noisier. Shut the crap up already.
- Thundering.
- Clouded vision of thinking.
- Where are my friends? Oh history tests, right.
- Should have followed JW back, but I was still in class. Sadness.
- This desktop's keyboard is nice to type.
- A little gastricity going on in the digestive system.
- The rain's from another alien country.

2011-09-19T19:06:00.002+08:00

Apparently its not all of it at 11:52am. Stress level continued to maintain its pressure until 4 in the evening. Right now, I guess it has gone down 50% from its initial level.

I urgently need some tea and proper boost of energy from a sleep.

2011-09-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

Stress level up to the top of my head. But then again, I guess that's all for the day. Huh?

today -entrynumbertwo-

2011-09-16T21:07:00.002+08:00

STAYING OVER WITH THE CECELIA TEY AT THE WEI XUAN'S CRIB!!

..having fun but we are so tired..

2011-09-12T23:52:00.001+08:00

Today I felt like a mess.

To Learn To

2011-09-07T21:49:00.003+08:00

I have learnt something that will reprimand my thinking for as long as I can remember what it has affected upon me.

I have learnt to learn to grow up.

Own Mind Chaos

2011-08-26T10:47:00.003+08:00

I am so annoyed by myself that I do not feel like going anymore or thinking about any other stuffs anymore. Question to be reflected upon thyself (me) : Why are you so restless and why can't you keep your thoughts to yourself once in a while eh?

chaosinthekosmos.com

Going to have the whole day to myself today. Wonder what I am going to do. Have to get to gardens by 3:50pm to catch the last bus back home.

Ciao everyone, enjoy your Friday and the weekend!

today.

2011-08-17T23:08:00.003+08:00

Today was a good day.

Eventhough the start of the day was quite blur and I had some sick and uneasy feeling. Overall my day had fair pretty well, dare I say, since the beginning of the week had already been filled with decisions making and some chaos here and there; God knows how long it will continue on.

Well, because today is one of those rare mid-week break for me during my college week, I have planned to stay dormant for the day. Hopefully it will wrap up my dormant dash hibernating dash peaceful holiday mood for the last three weeks in a roll.

So what have I done today? Let's see. I managed to finally finished up the remaining of the 213 chapters of HoLiC and am still not over it yet. Then early this noon I had received a message from my friends that says, "Ashley say you fong fei kei us." Which I had a good laugh at. Although I must honestly say, I do feel a little bit bad and regret that I have not woken up early to join them, but I guess there will be a next time and perhaps a wee bit later outing I hope?

When I said I stayed in the whole day, I mean it. I did not even bother going out for lunch or breakfast because firstly, I was too hooked up in the manga. Secondly, I was too dormant to go out. And finally, it was raining cats and dogs. Though I did went out for dinner nearby walking distance. Oh well, that was during the evening slash night. So yeah. I had a few (or rather a lot of) good servings of sushi's and they were deliiiicious! Satisfied my Japanese food-crazed-day. Which I think was great!

Just had a five minutes phone call with my long distance bestie in Melbourne. So glad she called me again after I missed her call earlier. Seriously in the IMY mood right now. Hope she's all fine and I cannot wait to meet her in a few weeks time!! Talk about excitement! I was super excited when she told me that, and now, I have something to look forward to. In which I think is also super important to have to help make my days go faster. Though part of me hope that the day would come soon, another part of me is dreading it because I do not want that day to end so soon!

Alright for now, I will add in some photos tomorrow. My internet is cracking up on me again.

Good night lovers of the cities and the countrysides!

Blaaaaahhhh

2011-08-14T11:30:00.001+08:00

Today's whining-session: facebook is a loser app and I wish college semester wouldn't start again and I can just get a degree and go to work in a year later or so.

worthy or unworthy?

2011-08-12T02:13:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I really wish I was in a different place and time. Why is life made to not be able to turn back? Yet that can only be done by thoughts and memories.

I have been having doubts about where I am heading to again. I am effing undecided all the time. I hate it. The fact that I am undecided and doubtful. It is bullshitting my life at this moment.

Plus, it does not help with my sleeping either. You know Mr Stress, I have been sleeping peacefully and having pleasant dreams until you came back to haunt me. Overthinking is another fault of mine if you do not already realize it.

source: Kat :3 flickr

Let's not hide it anymore shall I? I am having doubts about whether to stay on in the program I am in now or to move on to another one. Though I will not even call that moving on. It is like going backwards.

I need to go back to praying. God I am so sorry. Please do help me.

P/s: I wanted to post Great Kate's photo here, but it would be a disgrace, wouldn't it?

Still wanna grow up?

2011-07-26T15:38:00.001+08:00

via joyeechong.tumblr

Green shirt guy.

2011-07-18T11:19:00.000+08:00

I find the person in green sitting opposite me rather interesting. If I'm real honest and truthful I'll go straight at him upfront and tell him this,

" Hi green shirt guy, I think you're really cute. No not that kind of Zac Afron cute, but really bubbly cute. You remind me of the Japanese anime Totoro. Oh by the way, I love your pulled up hair and that hair band, it suits your look. What are you majoring in for a degree? Wait! Let me guess, hmmm. Computer Science? Oh no, Engineering? Hmm, Accounting? Anyway, it was nice meeting you. Helps a lot to divert my painful cramps feelings away. See you around! "

My final's is in less than 5 hours and my cramps are killing me. Save me, someone.

N for need.

2011-07-18T09:06:00.004+08:00

@flairey.tumblr.com

I need a lot of things. That "a lot of things" incorporates

a new set of earphones (not that important but to sometimes get my mood going while I'm on the move),
a few new pairs of jeans (as my current ones are almost worn out),
a new set of attitudes towards people and life (the current ones are looking not so good ATM),
a new weight number on the weighing machine (apparently I've gained weight unconsciously) and
I need to finish studying my 92 pages of anthropology (for my own information my anthro finals is tomorrow-Tuesday).

P/S : Oh and I need to start saving money too.

Good day everyone, have a great week ahead 'kay!

a pretty sulky day.

2011-06-20T18:32:00.011+08:00

My Mondays are not usually like this. They are hyped up, not blue. Well at least to some point where I'm actually tired because of being hyper. But today, the tiredness came from the loads of reading and essay writing. As well as the lack of snoozing time.

Attended the audition for the Jefferson Fourth of July play. Not many people were there, but it was not as fun as I thought it would be, mainly because I was really tired and could barely think straight. I hope tomorrow's session would be better than today's.

By adobemac - L.E.MacDonald

My iPod has decided to give me the "STOP" sign on jail breaking it. It has finally taken its toll of being jail-break-resistance. After updating to the new software, I lost all my previous files VK has helped me to break into. I miss the quick unlock app.

a sucky day,

of all days, i have to be tired and worn out today,

of all days, i chose to attend auditioning today instead of tomorrow,

of all days, the librarian have to choose today to conserve energy by turning off the ACs,

lunching with my classmates and having fun at subway,

proved to be the best thing,

today.

Thank God for being there and thank Him for always being there.

College all over again?

2011-05-24T11:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, dreaming too much is not possibly the best thing to have happened to you.

Okay, so I've been enrolled for two days in college now. I wished I could have said 'university' instead. But the current institution I'm in is not one. The que that had allowed me to make that opening statement came as I recall some of my first month in Methodist college. It was a really hard transition and boy! was it tough. It's a little hard to be forming cliques in my situation as my classes are totally different from my other coursemates, except our English classes.

I really hope things would go well, though I know they will its just a matter of time. Crush me.

mebirthday!

2011-05-15T02:54:00.010+08:00

It says, "rochellecho ; todayismay15th2011" .

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.

Thank you for all the people who remembered me today

by sending cards, and letters, gifts and good wishes.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;

for times of success which will always be happy

memories,

for times of failure which reminded me of my own

weaknesses and of my need for you,

for times of joy when the sun was shining,

for times of sadness which drove me to you.

Forgive me

for the hours I've wasted,

for the chances I've failed to take,

for the opportunities I've missed this past year.

Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,

and through it to bring good credit to myself,

happiness and pride to my loved ones,

and joy to you.

Amen.

I have yet to come up with my own prayer. But before the day ends, I will.

Tomorrow again.

2011-05-12T00:38:00.007+08:00

I need to get busy. I'm having that heartache I had before. No it's not about a boy. It's about the 1940s - 1950s Hollywood films. I suddenly misses Eleanor Parker terribly much. I've been watching her films these past few weeks. This should be a credit to Tharwa's and Jennifer's posts of Eleanor lately that had made me wondered back. Thank you girls, I've actually missed this feeling, but at the same time I was dreading it.

Charles Heston & Eleanor Parker in 'The Naked Jungle' 1954.

It was exactly like the heartache I had for Deborah and the Hollywood leading men and women. I hate that feeling, not because I hate them, but because I won't have the chance to live in that period, ever. And I have now is just pictures and films of their legacy.

I need to get busy.

Call the universities to ask about the online application.
Drive about.
Clean up the bedroom and sort things out.
Look around for photos and different photo papers.
Write a few letters.

Get busy after tomorrow.

Sort out whatever needed from the uni call.
Buy a few envelopes and stamps.
Find out the stamp fees needed for the letters.
Buy the photo papers and print the photos.

I will mail the letters the day after tomorrow.

Did I grew up?

2011-05-08T01:07:00.001+08:00

I suppose only God knows.

New

2011-05-04T16:01:00.003+08:00

Guess the new template was all I needed to reboost the writing spirit in me huh. Well, anyway here I am.

I have a few "Unpublished, Unfinished" posts which are still in the posts locker. I swear to God I've been trying to finish them, but I just have such a complex mind that I can't seem to get to a point where I want to be in those posts. I shall try and arbitrate with them now.

Ciao.

I need to talk to God.

2011-03-01T22:45:00.001+08:00

happy new year everyone.

2011-01-05T00:04:00.001+08:00

god bless everyone.
may this be a happy and joyful year for everyone of us.

Train Ride

2010-11-03T22:34:00.005+08:00

Freezing Temperatures Hit Germany

BERLIN - JAN 08: A passenger train makes its way through a snow-covered suburb.

Where will this train lead me to?

How I hope the railway is never-ending,

How I wish the train would never stop,

Oh, if only it all come true.

I would buy the ticket that says departure time 0400,

Arrows pointing to a never-ending journey.

I want to explore the world,

And not only to get lost in my fantasy,

but of other cultures and people's,

My fantasy of old shanghai and old Hollywood.

I might not make it back,

I might miss all the things I have here,

My family, my friends and my everything.

So is there really a railway station

that sells those tickets where arrival place

is the never-ending way?

Fair vs unfair.

2010-11-01T02:03:00.004+08:00

Life is unfair. So? Deal with it!

In my case, its about blurdy time for me to finish studying and revising the chapters and papers for my finals, which will be starting on this coming Thursday.

Played too much, now I have to balance it out. I will make it happen. For I know I can, and I know I will plus I know I must.

No more time to waste. The past weekend was fun and eventful, but that's where the "fullstop"comes in.

Ciao.

3 a.m.

2010-10-27T03:45:00.005+08:00

Today is Wednesday, 27th October 2010.

I love my 3 a.m. morning session with Celeste, Erica and Tharwa.

Friends rocks my socks.

And I love 時代曲.

Saturday, the beginning of study leave and so much more.

2010-10-23T01:47:00.027+08:00

Warning: Play the song for full emo effect at your own risk. =)

I never thought I would be blogging about this. My post might not be as happy toned as Caca's post here. You know me larh!!!! hahaha, I really need to express it out. I might dieeeee if I don't.

We were strangers. Forty strangers coming together in a Methodist college, doing the Australian Matriculation. All of us have different reasons why we chose this. Some was up for it for the short duration, some planned to go to Australia, some find this course inexpensive and some just came to find themselves. And I'm afraid I am one of the latter.

To be very honest, I had in June, daydreamed that one day all of us would look back at the times we had and at the end of the day, we would smile and grin and laugh and will go on to our separate ways. But never had "Goodbye" been so hard for me. Okay, maybe there are some bits here and there. Today was not an exception.

As the months dragged on, we see people leaving. One after another. The remaining ones questioning themselves, "Should I leave? Should I stay?" , "What happens if I really leave?". In the end there is 32 ( I just found out, 35) of us left.

I left college today, thinking "What on earth did we bring ourselves into?!"

The answer, I finally found is simple, "Friendships that will last. Times that will be reminisced. Education that widens our thinking horizon. A year that will be a part of our life."

As I browsed through the photos uploaded by our very own photographers, my emo mood just popped in and said hi. How very convenient.

I know each and everyone of us (or maybe just some?) had struggled through this past ten months. I know I did, because I was who I was. I learnt a lot of things from all of you that God had graciously put into my life. I would never had dream of this at the beginning of the year, no, never. I am glad that I had lecturers who are supportive like the friends I have here.

You guys are one of a kind.

Photos courtesy of Erica@Separated Feathers

& yours truly for the centre shot.

---

Madge sang that she can make it alone,

I'll say this - do not forget this is life,

You can't make it alone,

If you do, then you are not who you are.

Look out the window tonight,

Let Mr. Moon and the little stars wave you hi,

Greet the breeze with your sweetest smile,

When you are alone, they can be me!

For I love them as friends,

Isn't that what's it supposed to mean?

I want to make lots and lots of statements,

I don't regret meeting all of you,

I don't regret spending time with all of you,

I don't regret expressing my feelings here,

I don't regret taking Ausmat.

Look out the window tomorrow morning,

Let Mr. Cloud and the tiny spots of sun ray kiss you mornin'

Greet the sun with your loveliest thoughts,

When you are awake, they can be me!

For they are my friends who will make my day,

Seeing them reminds me of you,

So why not you too?

We've walked a long way through,

Three-o-six days is not long,

Did you treasure them?

I feel my heart breaking a lil' bit,

Maybe because ...

You are who you are, and I am who I am

and because you've accepted me for who I am

and I've accepted you for who you are.

Simply put, we all became friends.

Not just acquaintance,

Not just friends,

Not just best friends,

But lifelong friends.

Maybe I'm dreaming again,

Oh dear Lord, please oh please,

Let this dream ends with a happy ending,

Let everyone smile and remembers me.

=) The last line was meant to be cheeky. heeeheeeheee...

♥

the day after my mocks

2010-10-08T18:05:00.003+08:00

It's been raining again.

What a dull day it has been so far.

Ever wonder how it feels like to be in someone else's shoes for a while?

Hmm, MOCKS over now.

Two more weeks and I'm completing my Matriculation year.

Should be autumn now at the other side of the globe.

Halloween's coming around soon. Any plans everyone?

I just want to say,

Thank you Lord.

Those two simple words, they seem so small but what a great meaning it brings.

Cheers. Yours truly is going out to celebrate her friend's birthday. Loves.

2010-10-05T01:49:00.002+08:00

its been raining during the wee hours of these few nights. i must say, it's a pleasant thing to know that God is still awake with us.

Young lady

2010-10-03T11:29:00.008+08:00

Jenna Heap from Magyk

I've been called a "young lady" twice by the Aussies yesterday.

And to be honest, I wouldn't mind being called a young lady.

It's nice.

Dear Deborah,

2010-10-01T00:23:00.008+08:00

I don't quite know why, but I just love this photo of Peter and Deborah.

I miss you Deborah.

Where are you?

Can you hear me?

I wish you were still here with us.

I can only think of your smile

and the surprised face you had in "Dream Wife".

And Cary Grant by your side in "An Affair to Remember".

Together with the joyous laugh with Peter.

Have a happy birthday Deborah.

The star that sparkles brightest tonight, that shall be you.

Greer

2010-09-29T23:00:00.005+08:00

Dear Greer,

We shall ponder upon the stars and wonder where you are.

For we are remembering the legacy which you have left us.

Happy Birthday and may your smile be a good luck charm to us.

End roll

2010-09-27T23:17:00.005+08:00

I forgot how much I've missed listening to Ayumi.

Looking back, I wonder how on earth did I even come across her.

It was the LOVE~destiny~ video that was playing on MTV that day.

I think it was after school or something like that, I remember hanging out on the couch and pressing the numbers on the remote control.

And then I stopped as I continued pressing the positive button.

I lower my finger and pressed the negative button and there it was, orangey sepia video, I remember there was a car and some restaurant.

LOVEppears is my first ayu album.

With time evolving, she evolved as well.

Is this still the ayu from before?

I guess so. But I know I'm fading away from her music.

We both grew up; and still is growing.

tiredness

2010-09-22T00:56:00.005+08:00

I am tired. Really tired of almost everything.

Why do I feel like I am now back to square one?

Everything doesn't feel right anymore.

What was it that made me think I was at a reachable dream's calling?

Sometimes putting too much hope or faith is not a good thing.

I just can't stop repeating the phrase,

"I am tired. Just tired. Very tired of everything."

People around you don't stop even though you stopped in your tracks.

They would not know what is wrong with you unless you tell them.

I am feeling inferior. I don't want to.

Everything's cramping up within these few weeks.

Rushing here and there with assessments and presentations.

My MOCKS are coming up in less than 12 days.

I don't want any distractions or unnecessary things to come up.

Dear Lord, is this the punishment for not listening or not believing in you?

But who am I to even find myself in your shadow?

My shuffle mode in iTunes had came to Brooke Fraser's 'Hosea's Wife'.

the monococo effect #002

2010-09-13T23:06:00.005+08:00

♥germainee. says:
my ruler disappeared

to the floor

me says:
..............................

what a sentence..

it dropped.
HAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA

the mysterious case of a black pouch.

2010-08-17T15:56:00.006+08:00

I am feeling very sick today.

And I have either misplaced or lost my black pouch.

Which stored my DiGi internet, ishuffle and my thumbdrive and most importantly, the pair of earrings my aunt bought me for my birthday.

I am sad and depressed.

Is there any phrase like "sad to the max"?

Well, if there is, then I am confounded by my own feeling and is about to cry.

G and C texted me back and I find myself urging not to reply back because both the messages were just, beautiful in their own way? I suppose that is the word.

So, here am I sitting in some fast food restaurant and using their internet.

Suppose I shall stay here longer to finish reading my text book chapter

and doing my research.

myrna and my sunday afternoon.

2010-08-16T00:01:00.006+08:00

I re-watched 'Libeled Lady' today.

And I thoroughly enjoyed it again.

Fell in love with Myrna and Bill again.

They both were meant for each other on screen. ♥

I miss watching black and white films.

They were called films for a reason.

I should be doing my English work by now.

But I'm not. And I'm feeling a little worried.

Worried that I might not be able to remember the facts needed.

Anyway, I'll have to go pack my stuffs now.

Heading back to KL early morning tomorrow.

I guess I'll never stop learning how to love Myrna.

Its so easy to fall in love with her.

So lovers, "Let's face the music and dance."

It's a vividly lighted world.

2010-08-13T14:30:00.001+08:00

Dear Lover,

do you think one can never escape their own karma that surrounds themselves so vividly that you might faint hearing the word "love"?

Yours truly,

Miss R.

random case #001

Thorns From Inside

2010-08-13T00:01:00.008+08:00

it feels really bad to keep stuffs inside alone.

i can be there for my friends when i am around them,

but sometimes when i look around me, i just don't know where i should go to for the one who would look out for me.

are you out there hearing my call?

or maybe because i just worry too much?

i listened too much that i did not notice i needed to reach out too.

" I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could let you know somehow

I guess "

- Cyrus M. Every Rose Has Its Thorn.

teach me...

2010-08-03T00:16:00.003+08:00

teach me how not to think negatively,

teach me how not to get annoyed easily,

teach me how to surf the ocean on a midnight train to georgia.

Toys

2010-07-31T01:02:00.004+08:00

I'm staying over at my friend's house tonight.

=) She is a kinder joy toys-addict.

We had Psychology session today and it was fun.

Everyone had to write down five things each on the good and bad side of a friend we pick.

Yours truly picked the lady sitting beside her and obviously she is sitting in front of me now.

Attended Barbecue Night aka MCRAVE. It was fun and like what Ms Moey said, "...a night to remember."

At this point I just want to say, FML but at the same time, I appreciate the fact that I am blessed with such great friends who had walked into my life during my eighteen year phase.

I love you guys. I love my AUSMAT family.

FML.

2010-07-27T17:56:00.001+08:00

I'm an ill tempered PITA.

lifesaver

2010-07-25T17:48:00.008+08:00

It's raining.
It started raining heavily about 2 hours ago and it's drizzling now.
I've stumble upon another blogger's blog. Which I find very interesting.
"I want to be her friend" was my reaction.
But of course, it's not possibly possible.

Listening to Bieber's Overboard.
TBH, I would mind walking under the rain now.
I learnt from VK, walking in the rain is nice.
I refused to walk, it was over 6pm and we both have to go home.
I insisted we wait until it stops. In the end I gave in.
And now I'm trying and waiting for some reasons for me to walk in the rain.

Stood at the side of the window and looked out at the lushes greens.
"The rain cleanse this world".
The Federal Highway is almost alienated on Sundays.
I'm glad that my room and the apartment have such great view.
It's beautiful.
Feeling the wind in my face and occasionally rain drops as well.
I love these kind of weather.
Oh, did I mention I am alone?
Lovely day. Awaiting darkness to loom over.
But I am not willing to.

Stop and ask

2010-07-23T17:46:00.003+08:00

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

"Are you speaking Malay to each other?" asked the British man.
I looked over to Celeste in blur and answered, "Oh, I'm speaking to her in English."
"Why are you not speaking Malay to each other?" he continued with a blur smile.
I was caught in a stunned motion, not knowing what to answer.
"Oh, we speak three different languages," Celeste replied.
The tall British man looked at us in surprised. Well, how I know that? Because surprise was written all over his face. I couldn't find anything to say. Blank. My head was blank, still having his question repeating itself in my brain.

His question was a great one. We met him on our way to the central. I insisted to stop and ask if he needed help and boy! What a stop it was. To me it was some kind of a 'wake up call' right in your face about you being a Malaysian.

So, why aren't we talking to each other in Malay?

P/S: Celeste says he sounds more like an Aussie or Kiwi.

2010-07-22T19:20:00.002+08:00

I've decided not to go midvalley because of a change of plan in Eliza's so call "itinerary". So I'm meeting her next week it seems.
Yours truly is now currently sitting in KL central among the crowd.
Yes, unfortunately this is what I do when I feel like I needed some crowd time.
Although people sit here and not talk, it feels comfortable.
There's no awkward silence. Of course sometimes there is, which depends on your mood.
I am currently in a rather satisfied mood.
Going back to cook the Korean noodles mom bought me for dinner. Yumm!

feeling bs at the moment

2010-07-19T00:19:00.005+08:00

I don't know why, but I had differed my preferences from my initial choices.

Chemistry

Biological Sciences

Mathematics

Psychology

EALD

The reality.

Economics

Biological Sciences

Politics & Law

Psychology

EALD

I am a mess. I should have dropped Biological Sciences for Mathematics and Psychology for Accounting and Finance. A very expensive lesson to learn. I was and still am stupid.

Choices for my degree in university is now almost like crappy crap. I need maths for economics. I need maths for everything actually. I am so sorry, but I'm going to curse. Shit.

2010-07-18T17:18:00.001+08:00

all of us are the colours of fear to one another. can you make racism exists only in our history books?

the monococo effect #001

2010-07-07T23:12:00.002+08:00

♥germainee. says:
did you hear about the octopus
haha
rochelle addams says:
no
i saw a cute octi just now
im going to buy it i think
but i no use with it
♥germainee. says:
put ink in it

:::::: L-edMAO

of template and tiredness

2010-07-06T23:41:00.004+08:00

Yes Blogger!!!

Finally some new decent (actually very decent) templates!!!! <3

I love all of 'em!

I've been very tired lately, I'm not sure why.

Watching The Addams Family Musical did not help.

Sleeping eight hours a day is not the cure either.

I wonder what's wrong with my system.

I guess I'm too tired of acting happy and pleased.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing it for the sake of not pulling in attraction from people around me, asking me why I'm looking so down.

Well, I AM DOWN! For no particular reason.

I'm spending hours and hours sitting and doing nothing.

Imagine me getting an 85 or 90 TER score.

I would love that. Seriously.

Ciao.

Fingerprints

2010-06-29T18:05:00.006+08:00

It's my life and I'm not sitting on the sidelines watching

It pass me by

I'm leaving you my legacy

I gotta make my mark

I gotta run it hard

I want you to remember me.

- Perry K.

What I want is simple. All I want is for you to remember me for who I am.

And all I want is to walk out of here at the end of December with flying colors.

I can't focus my attention.

~Fist in the air, I'm not going down without a fight.

Me.

2010-06-21T01:14:00.001+08:00

I am going to make it. It's not just a dream.

Finally, an update!

2010-06-19T05:53:00.003+08:00

I think I will be either moving or ignoring my blog.

It's just a matter of time and unfortunately that's the thing I don't have. College is getting tougher, the competition to enter universities out there is getting higher. Although I must say in my current course, it's more to helping each other than competing out. It's a TER mean score system.

My semester break ends in one week. And guess what? I still have not finish my assignments. I am so dead. I shall start doing them tomorrow. God help me.

Good morning everyone on this side of the globe. And good evening to those at the other side of the globe!

Have a great weekend altogether everyone!!

i miss them

2010-04-22T22:20:00.005+08:00

I am breaking my blog's code. I don't care because I miss my classmates a.k.a. my bffs.

Of Uncertainty, Family, College and But

2010-02-18T00:48:00.024+08:00

Vacationing American Family

July 07, 1950.

Photographed by Allan Grant.

I miss my brother. I miss my mum. I don't like it here. Or maybe I do. No really. Maybe I really do.

I realized that I would try to keep myself awake at all times because I don't want to sleep away the time. The reason? I barely know why myself. Perhaps because I simply thinks that there's so much more one can do awake. But not when one is at the extend of falling asleep standing.

Vacationing American Family

July 07, 1950.

Photographed by Allan Grant.

I suddenly have this homesick feeling again. Must have been mum's seasoned pork meat that I have reheated as my supper cum dinner just now. I'm re-listening to Albertine again. I am trying to break my thoughts down into lines. Because it is hard to read a bunch of sentences in a paragraph - it was also merely because my EALD lecturer suggested me to do so. Great idea!

College Bowl Quiz At Purdue University.

Photographed by Michael Rougier.

To all of you kind hearted soul out there who reads my blog, I am now in college. I find that word rather... big. In my own sense that, I am already in college. Wow! Am I dreaming?? I doubt. This chapter of my book is the turning point of where I want to be in the near future. I will have to share it with people from all walks of life. And thus, I ask myself again, am I fully ready to do that? If not, then what is the repercussion of it?

You know, I have very nice flat-mates. I like staying here. Particularly because of the three person sleeping in the room across the living room. I went back to Ipoh for my New Year break. The liking of living in Kuala Lumpur has become a question that I took upon to ask myself everyday. I think I like it here.

Deborah Kerr and Hayley Mills on the set of The Chalk Garden.

1964. Universal Pictures.

The previous sentence made me thought of the word 'but'. And it triggers my cognitive memory alert. I will never forget that particular afternoon. I'm smiling and grinning to myself - yes, it is funny and it gives me the warmth that I need now.

Reality can be as funny as the juggler or the clown. It can also be as demanding as the monarch or as distressing as grief. I cannot make out what the Oxford nor the Webster had printed on their pages, this word becomes another material when you place yourself in it. So where are we?

Print, History, Thought, Uncertain from the Oxford dictionary.

KL. 18 February 2010.

Photographed by Rochelle C.

Printed on the papers is our history, thoughts in our mind are uncertainty that neither you or me can define. Oh, the bewilderment of my brain leave me confused.

P/S: I shall post the larger version of the photographs to give them justice. Take care all!

Not abandoning

2010-01-06T01:15:00.001+08:00

Parishoner of Rev. Dr. Edwin A. Briggs, pastor of First Methodist Church, watching as he tinkers with his car outside her home before coming in to call on her.

Boone, IA, US. December 1940.

Photographed by Alfred Eisenstaedt.

Yes, I have not abandon my blog. Don't worry. I just took a break from writing. I never really did found the specific topic or mood I wanted to write about. I will be quite busy these few weeks. Preparing for my life as a young adult into the world, so wide it'll eat you up in no time!

Songwriter Irving Berlin, composing music into the telephone while secretary writes it down.

March 1946.

Photographed by Cornell Capa.

If Irving Berlin can compose music into people's life and make himself into who he was. I suppose, I can write a certain things which I have not decide yet and make myself into who I want to be. There's no rules of who I really want to be. Or is there? Yes, maybe there is. But where will the limiting factor bring me?

Gen. Ira Eaken (L) in briefing session by Intelligence officer Lt. James Parton (C) uses pointer on huge map as Maj. Harris Hull, Lt. Col. Cecil "Brick" Lessig & Lt. Col. Charles Kirk, in secret Operations Room after reports from intelligence officers & meteorologists have been discussed before deciding on tomorrow's target, at HQ.

United Kingdom. September 1942.

Photographed by Margaret Bourke-White.

Lately, I've been much in dilemma over college. I still can't make up my mind about what to major in. Yes, I do have a passion for History. And yes, I do love Biology. So where does that leaves me?

I'll have to pen off here. It's 1:33 a.m. now. Take care and may this new year be blessed for all of you.

Goodbye heartache.

2009-11-30T19:03:00.008+08:00

Actress Millie Perkins thinking of what to put into diary that her fan gave her.

New York, NY, USA. March 1959.

Photographed by Allan Grant.

Let's face it, I can't keep my mind off things that are miserably un-useful to me. Things that can affect my mood the whole day if I don't finally settle them.

I'm sitting for my accounts paper tomorrow and it should be a 'No-problem' paper because I took it as an extra subject. I never thought I might add in this post here. But it is my story and I should have an immune to what I am feeling now.

Brook Byron, as Althea Dennis, in TV soap opera "The Brighter Day".

US. March, 1954.

Photographed by Walter Sanders.

To be very frank, I never thought I might be getting worried for my account papers until I decided to stop attending accounting classes. I don't really want to make any excuse or reasons and all sorts of weird ways of explaining. In short, I was getting impatient and lazy of accounts. There's also another thing that had made it impact on me which I do not want to list it out here.

A woman working in an office.

Dunsmuir, CA, US. 1935.

Photographed by Peter Stackpole.

Accounting is not hard. Yes, it is not hard. It's just simple calculations and the need for you to know the concept. Enough of all that crap. Now, my main focus for today's post.

Feeling statement :

Regretful, worried, predicting the aftermath of the result

Objective of post :

I did not study properly and should not have added account as an extra subject.

Hypothesis :

The more I worry, the more time I waste so I shall start reading the theory and doing anchor question 1 and 2.

Conclusion :

The fact that I have already register and tomorrow is the day for my accounting papers, I shall be grateful to my teachers for their help and the fact that I'm an account student and I will not fail 'Principles of Account' subject for my SPM.

The hypothesis is accepted.

I don't want to wait, anymore.

2009-11-09T21:01:00.006+08:00

Soldier walking along broken railway on outer line.

China. February 1947.

Photographed by Mark Kauffman.

我不想等待了。我会继续往前走。

to move on

2009-11-04T23:03:00.005+08:00

MIT students taking an exam in the school's gymnasium.

MA, US. 1966.

Photographed by Leonard Mccombe.

I've stopped skipping school lately. For reasons a student should know well. My friends finally listened to my advice and went to see the counseling teacher about the aftermath of SPM. I wasn't there with them since I have to settle my forecast result grades. Which I've finished finding the teachers to fill in my grades within 20 minutes.

A Granby High School student leaders meeting to discuss the closing of the schools.

Norfolk, VA, US. Oct 1958.

Photographed by Paul Schutzer.

The air was rather sober and serious, a scent of tear in all of us. Seeing my friends sitting around the table talking about the session something stirred in me. I wasn't sure what it was then. After several hours of philosophy-like thinking, I think it was the will in me. The willingness to move on and not looking back.

Teacher Doris Williams (L) leading her 15 students in the Pledge of Allegiance outside one-room Beaver Center School in Polk County.

IA, US. 1942.

Photographed by Alfred Eisenstaedt.

Meeting my subject teachers today to fill in the forecast grades, I realize most of them do care for their students; at least for me it's true. I've received lots of good wishes and advices. With the grades they have given me, it would be a lie if I say they do not have high hopes or they do not think that I can do it. But they do. Yet after all this months, my question is can I really score those grades?

A view of the road intersection near Kennington.

United Kingdom. 1939.

Photographed by William Vandivert.

So what happens next? I am not willing to be stuck at the turning point. It is not worth stopping. I should move on. Yes, I will move on.

Thinking Out Loud

2009-10-25T00:46:00.003+08:00

An unhappy little boy standing on the street.

Poland. 1947.

Photographed by Tony Linck.

I'm a little annoyed by the fact that all the things I wanted to purchase today had either been sold off or out of stock. Where do people get all this money during these economic problem days? This is rather ironic. People spending their money or credits while the economic scene is in a dump. And yet it is not healed.

A lonely kid kicking his toe against the cement curb to warm them up.

Poland. February, 1947.

Photographed by Tony Linck.

I've made a rather 'loud' avowal while walking to the car this evening with my mom and my sister along with the shopping cart. My loud as in speaking out rather than keeping or thinking it in mind. I told my mom I'll work hard in the future and graduate from uni with a job and I'll want to earn lots of money so that I can buy whatever I want. In other words, I don't want to be restricted because I'm not in the upper class society. I just want simple things and yet they are the most expensive things to get. Why??

A poorly clothed child selling newspapers.

Poland. February 1947.

Photographed by Tony Linck.

I have settle a couple of things and had made up my mind about the things I'm about to face in this past week. I'm the one who can grasp my future and write the story of my life. But still, is there a limit for us all?

Stars Up in The Galaxy

2009-10-19T23:35:00.004+08:00

View of the night sky lit up w. German bombers & anit-aircraft fire during an air raid on the city.

Moscow, Russia - 1941.

Photo by Margaret Bourke-White.

I've just came back into my room just a few minutes ago. I was helping my sister with the laundry and when I'm done with them, I looked up the sky and suddenly I can't help but gazed upon the great wide sky. Stars were all over it! What a sight it was!

Soviet textile mill manager, Albert M. Paramonov, with his wife camping with friends.

Russia - 1967.

Photo by Bill Eppridge.

You know, I don't mind camping out tonight. Imagine, sleeping under the stars! It was breezy and quite and there weren't much clouds tonight. It is a lovely night. The church's coloured lights were on and the campanile was in sight. The huge mango tree and another huge, huge tree planted at the neighbour's place were made visible by the moonlight as the sky remains in a mysterious purplish black background. As I looked around the almost empty road, I told myself, "Well now, wouldn't it nice if things go on like this?".

Pittsburgh Pirate fan atop the University's Catherdral of Learning looking down at Forbes Field during World Series baseball game.

Pittsburgh, PA, US - 1960.

Photo by George Silk.

As I continue writing this post, I'm starting to imagine things. Who wouldn't?! Well, I'm imagining Deborah and other great stars gazing down on all of us. And some of our late family members perhaps? I bet God himself would be admiring such a view. Whether or not the theory of science contradicts the theory of God, I still think the universe is great and a splendid thing to had happened to us. Wouldn't you agree?

Drifted Away

2009-10-16T22:51:00.011+08:00

The last proper post I made was on September 12th. Ever since then I still can make no motion or make any sentence up to come back and post again.

Returning General - Pow'S

1955. Photo by Ralph Crane

I should not....

... have spent hours after hours watching movies.
... have stray away from my studies.
... have skipped school.
... have crazed over something that I could not have.
... have misplaced things.
... have bought things that I dislike or not needed.
... have abandoned my novels.
... have taken a vacation from blogging.

There are more 'I should not have'. But I guess I'd rather keep them to myself than to share them with you here. They are rather distressing.

Nothing much worth mentioning here happened to me lately. In order words, my life got pretty dull. I hope yours are not as dull as mine. Since I like to sit myself in my room the whole day and only go out of the room to get things I needed. I think that's pretty weird for a person to be doing, isn't it? I mean, how on earth do people live like that? Well, I'm still living. Perhaps life in the city would be something like that. I mean if you're staying in a rented room or is sharing a room with a roommate or a friend. But here I am living in a family house with my family. You see, I'm odd.

Senior Suzanne Frenzel, discussing her future.

USA, October 1950

Photo by Walter Sanders

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking - again. I'm hoping for a marvelous future. But how can I go there when I can't even decide what I want to do with my life now? Why is making decisions so hard? I like to think that decisions are like risks; rather than risk is the decision itself. Perhaps I should begin to make my mind clear of unneeded things. But what if the world would really end? Seriously, I don't believe in that. I'm beginning to drift away from what I'm writing now. I shall just grab my future in my hands. Gosh!

It's been such a quiet and confusing week. I've been skipping school lately, and it's unusual. But I'd rather stay at home or go to the library than to sit in a classroom full of noises when I try to study or revise my studies. I've got some stuffs to settle on Tuesday next week so that I can get my co-curriculum marks for the 2009 year right. Oh! I'm also on the account of wondering whether I'm worthy of applying a scholarship with Taylor's - when I don't even know what programme I want to continue after sec five. I need serious help on this. And I shall seek them very soon.

Actress Ruth Roman, dressed casually in paint-smeared jeans, knaki shirt and slipper socks, sitting with friend and advisor Bill Walsh on steps of her new house, reading movie script on a Sunday afternoon.

Hollywood Hills, CA, US. April 05 1950.

Photo by Ed Clark

Frankly, I've got a couple of things set in my mind. But I wonder if I can keep my mind focus on it until I achieve them. One, I would like to lose some weight over the next few months. I've checked my BMI (Body Mass Index) and I'm almost at the edge of crossing over to the obese category. And that's bad. I need to and have to do it. You can check you BMI at the US National Heart Blood and Lung Institute (which is under the National Institute of Health) website here. Provided that you know your current height and weight in units of feet/inches and pounds respectively.

Start of demolition of the 20th Century Fox backlot.

1961. Photo by Allan Grant.

Secondly, I would like to stop myself from frequently using the internet for entertainment purposes. It's ruining me, it's spoiling me. I'm smiling at that particular phrase. For now I think I shall have no other things come flushing into my life and making it worst. Since I've not been actively studying much lately. Thirdly, I want to spend more time studying than thinking, talking, playing, watching or sleeping. Lastly, I want to stop cursing so much. It's a bad habit and it's not good for girls. I should know best since I have the word 'female' on my student card.

Right, that's about it for now. If I continue on typing and facing the screen with this page on - I bet you'll leave before I can even finish my line here. Have a wonderful weekend!

Blithe Spirit Playbill. Photo added on another site by Scott Hayes.

P/S: Happy birthday dear Angela Lansbury! Many happy wishes to you!

I'll be back

2009-10-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

Dear fellow readers, I will try to come back these few days to update my blog. In the mean time, have a great week ahead.

Cheers,
Rochelle

Dear Deborah

2009-09-30T01:02:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday, Deborah Kerr!

The moon's shining so ever brightly

tonight, it reminds me of you;

It seems like just yesterday,

Where I last saw you on screen.

It felt like just yesterday,

When you were still here with us.

My gratitude to the legacy

left by a lovely English lady,

whose name rhyme with star,

Miss Deborah Kerr.

Alone; Talking and listening; Poignant

2009-09-12T23:03:00.016+08:00

I like to be alone.

Play director Tom Morse (foreground) sitting alone while cast enjoys its after play party.

Winchester, MA, US - February 1950.

Photo by Yale Joel

I'm not sure if that particular phrase is a temporary emotional break down or something else. But for now, I'm just emphasizing it. So, I looked up the work 'alone' in my Webster's dictionary and, Boy!- what a surprise it was...

alone adj isolated; without anyone or anything else; unassisted; unique. *adv exclusively.

Opening night for "Call Me Madam," Ethel Merman (C) talking to the Secretary of State while Johnny Meyer is listening with interest.

Washing, DC, US -May 1952

Photo by Hank Walker

I never knew the word also meant unique or exclusively - not until after I've typed in the phrase up there. It's not that I don't like to be around people. Yes, I do like to have people around me sometimes. But I just don't like noisy crowds and I would be the one who avoid conversations. Well, I just don't have any specific reasons yet, as of now - of why I dislike being around people. I mean sometimes, there's just nothing interesting to talk about. Besides that one excuse, there might be more. I just can't think of any right now. Oh and perhaps because I'd like to listen rather than being the one who does the talking. I find listening very affecting to the brain. Ideas just seems to pop out of your head every now and then, just by listening to people (about their morning, the weather, their daily rage, etc).

Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy (L) listening to man talking.

CA, US - June 1964

Photo by George Silk

It's not that I don't find talking appealing. It's very useful and important. But, I do to an extend- dislike it. Sometimes I even talk to myself! Hey, who doesn't anyway? I even talk to my dogs when I see them coming around. Oh, something just popped into my head. -- I realized that I talked a lot to non-living things. Does that means I'm sick?? Omigosh.

US Attorney General Bobby Kennedy (L), with his dogs nearby, talking with his brother Edward M. Kennedy about possible senate run.

Mclean, VA, US - June 1964

Photo by George Silk

Perhaps because talking to human sometimes seems to trigger a sense of annoyance in me. I suppose its because when I talk, I want people to listen to me and not bash in while I'm doing the talking. It's always like that with people who do not know their manners. Even when I'm talking to another person! Darn it. Learn to listen and wait for your turn. Yes, sometimes I do that too and I find myself very irritating. Maybe -- no, not maybe. It's definitely why I don't like talking.

Ambassador Laurence A. Steinhardt working during midnight shift.

Prague, Czechoslovakia - Sept. 1948

Photo by Nat Farbman

As midnight approaches, I have to plan for my study chores tomorrow. My GSCE trial test are not over yet. Two more science paper to sit for and then even more study chores to brush up the grim clouded brain. It doesn't make sense putting the following statement in, but I think I should add it in. I think I have wasted my parent's money by purchasing stationaries and papers and revision books that are still untouched or rarely used since the week we went out to buy them from the bookstore. I wonder what I'm wondering right now.

List and locations of employment representatives at American Physical Science conference.

Washing, DC, US - May 1958

Photo by Ed Clark

I have so many things I want to do before I sit for my actual GSCE examinations in November. I shall make a list soon. You must be thinking that I'm rather peculiar as most people my age would be listing down things they want to do after the exams but not before the exams. It's really not that strange, really. It's simply because I won't be able to return to 2009 and become seventeen again and I won't have another chance to sit for my full GSCE exams. This is real life, not Hollywood.

British author Colin Wilson sitting under a tree in a sleeping bag reading a book.

London, United Kingdom - 1956

Photo by Mark Kaufmann

I learnt a new word today, poignant. And here's what I would like to write in connection with the word. Zoya, a novel by Danielle Steel assembles her readers in a cold land and makes them explore their ability of imagination in depth. In my humble opinion, I think it is a poignant novel. The impression it made on me two years ago is still lingering vividly living in my mind.

August's Finale Night

2009-08-31T22:25:00.004+08:00

Bookstall setting on street in front of Brooklyn Museum.

New York, NY, US - Sept. 1946

Photo by Ed Clark

The breezy night sky is filled with white puffy clouds. It shadows above and somehow, behind the church makes the contrast looks so pleasing to the eyes and mind. I wonder if rain might possibly invite itself tonight. It looks like it will. One can imagine how bright the moon is tonight to be lighting up the sky in a faint brownish watercolour-like vision.

Guests at the opening of Lincoln Center's Philharmonic Hall.

New York, NY, US - 1962

Photo by Alfred Eisenstaedt

The southwest monsoon season this year will be ending pretty soon, as we find ourselves already in the near end of August. I wonder what September will bring this year. Shall it be joy nor hatred. It's all been set isn't it? It's just a matter of how one take them in, to their lives. Its fascinating; life.

Actress Audrey Hepburn looking up at billboards in the middle of Times Square, recently in town for run of Broadway show "Gigi", in which she is starring.

New York, NY, US - 1951

Photo source: LIFE

Isn't it?

Gloomy clouds to sunny sky

2009-08-29T14:32:00.007+08:00

Ever wondered how the rain sounds when it comes falling down the sky from the freezing clouds?

Dark clouds merging together to cause a storm.

Jacksonville, FL, US - February 1953.

Photo by Fritz Goro.

It's been raining frequently these few weeks. Which means the Southwest Monsoon period is still around and at its peak. I wonder when it will end this year. It came around quite late this year, I think around mid-June. And then comes the drier days during the inter-monsoon period in mid-September. Oh, what fun it is to live in an Equatorial country. Frankly, I just love this period of the year; despite having my trial for my SPM (GSCE) this coming Tuesday and feeling sorry for those flood victims. Forgive me.

Peggy Winton's college vacation, stewardess helping Peggy figure out time schedule.

1941; Photo by Peter Stackpole.

My not-so-routine days are getting much more complicated. I know this was coming my way. It's just a matter of time when it would arrive at my doorstep. I hate to communicate. And I hate people who does not take good notice of what you're talking about even though you've told them about the matter for more than ten times. It's annoying.

Holly Williams

Source: hollywiliams.com

I'm in a midst of a peaceful, annoyed and sad mind. I've been listening to Holly Williams' , 'Here With Me' album. In my humble personal opinion, it's very pleasant and nice. I love the lyrics and the arrangements; which her voice fitted perfectly. The whole album has a very genuine feeling to it. The lyrics were written beautifully. Anyone who had gone through life similar to Williams' can perhaps relate themselves to these songs.

Actress Angela Lansbury accepts the Tony for best performance by a featured actress in a play for "Blithe Spirit"onstage during the 63rd Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 7, 2009 in New York City.

(Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images)

I've been pretty enthusiastic about Angela Lansbury lately. Ms. Lansbury had just recently won the 'Best Featured Actress in A Play' at the Tony Award 2009. Her fifth win marks a tie with another great broadway actress' record, Julie Harris. Isn't that wonderful? The win was for her role as Madame Arcati in a revival of Noël Coward's Blithe Spirit - Directed on stage by Michael Blakemoore. Casts include, Christine Ebersole, Rupert Everett and Jayne Atkinson. How I hope I was at the Shubert Theatre when 'Blithe Spirit' opened and played for a total of 145 performances last season. (excluding 20 preview performances)

Susan Clausen, age 11, sitting next to large globe while reading book in Falk School Library at First Baptist Church.

Pittsburgh, PA, US - 1938

Photo by Margaret-Bourke White

The rain just started pouring down. I need to buy myself a compass and a mini world globe. Which I can afford. I'm still wondering where I can get a compass around town. Alright, I have to stop her for now. I have an appointment with Mrs. Additional Mathematics for tea. Have a great weekend ahead everyone!

Perhaps there may not be a sound at all. Because they fall quietly from the gloomy clouds.

Awkward

2009-08-21T18:15:00.004+08:00

Man sitting alone on bleachers.

Washington D.C, US - 1953

by Cornell Capa

I made it to school on time this morning. When I stepped in the class, I thought to myself, "Awhh good, now I'm gonna be an alien again." I wasn't feeling very comfortable with my hair. It got longer. I was thinking of tying it up, but I end up feeling like an idiot the whole morning. As if I was one of those hippies back in the 70s.

People leafing through books in the bookstore.

Prague, Czechoslovakia, December 1947.

Photo by Walter Sanders.

I had spent an hour and a half in the bookstore looking at books. In the end, I bought the only one I had no intention of buying. But I thought, what the heck. I needed to do some revision. As the escalator descended down, I kept thinking to myself again, "It was an awkward moment. It was as if reality suddenly hit me." As my step reached the comb, I walked towards the phone booth and called my aunt.

As I waited for the black colored car. A lot of images came into my mind. One of the most vividly lighted images was an image I've stored in my mind quite some time ago. A student leaving her old school and hugging her Chinese-German teacher.

Hold The Dream

2009-08-19T20:43:00.019+08:00

You know, I've always have this feeling about Deborah. I don't know what it is, adoration perhaps? I wonder if I'm going cuckoo or something. But I bet you I'm awfully sober right now! I've always had intention to write something about how I've come to fall in love with these classic motion picture business and Deborah Kerr. It's no secret to my closest friends that I'm a HUGE fan of black and white. A close friend of mine once called me an obsessor of black and white. I kinda like that.

Dame Julie Andrews on location for The Sound of Music in Austria.

I guess everything began when I was doing some research on Dame Julie Andrews. Yes, she was the Fräulein Maria from The Sound of Music (1965). She was my topic for my Sec 4 English oral test. After my presentation day, I found myself rather impressed with my finding about Julie. I went home that day a happy and curious girl. I found myself sticking my face onto the laptop screen searching more and more about Julie. And the first film that I've ever saw Julie on screen was not in The Sound of Music, butThoroughly Modern Millie (1967). I instantly began my adoration for this lady. Nonetheless, with Julie's career started way back from the mid-1960s I begin to uncover the world of the post golden Hollywood era from the mid 40s to late 50s.

On location for From Here to Eternity.

Frankly, how I've ever come to discovering these classic black and white films after that, I have no idea at all. The memories just does not come back as vividly as I want them to. But all I remember was, I saw something about a movie's title that had caught my attention and I began Googling about it. By that time I've read almost about everything I've found, I was already on this red-haired lady's IMDB profile. As I begin to roll down the list of films she had made, I was thinking to myself, "Oh my god, what have I found. Why is everything so old?! Definitely not my cup of tea." Don't be surprised when I said that, because I really did! And I'm rather amused by it now. Because I was so, SO very wrong.

"Deborah Kerr" - I first pronounced her last name as 'Kerr' like 'her'. But boy oh boy! How wrong I was when I read the trivia about her.

"Kerr rhymes with Star"

Now, you realized my mistake. That was how Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) started to introduce Deborah in the United States.Never in a million years have I thought that I would be sitting in front of my laptop watching black and whites and some Cinemascope colored picture. My first film of Deborah was not the famous An Affair to Remember (1957) with Cary Grant or The King and I (1959) with Yul Brynner. But Dream Wife (1953), Deborah and Cary's first of their three pairings together. She had this graceful and elegance manner about her - everything! I'm telling you, I'm awfully bad at recalling my reviews or past feelings. This is not an exception either.

Publicity shots for Dream Wife (1953), with Cary Grant.

Publicity shot for From Here to Eternity (1953), with Burt Lancaster.

The most pleasant thing ever happened next was From Here to Eternity (1953). I know, I know that rolling over the sand and waves scene with Burt Lancaster. I guess I'm too young to appreciate that at that time and even now too! But I get it, believe me. With Montgomery Clift, Frank Sinatra and Donna Reed. This movie proves to be a big winner on it's own! This would be Deborah's movie character role's turning point I would say. People are beginning to realize she is not just a pretty English lady that can act goody roles but sultry and seductive roles too! I was rather surprised too. But believe me, you'll wish you were Burt Lancaster right there on the beach!

Publicity shot for An Affair to Remember (1957), with Cary Grant.

With Tea and Sympathy (1956) starring John Kerr and Leif Erickson next, I'm really beginning to fall in love with this lady. My adoration for her is undoubtable. And then come Leo McCarey's An Affair to Remember (1957) on my playlist. Once again, with his leading on-screen man, Cary Grant. I really love to see these two together in movies. They have great chemistry and they know what they're doing. Why not?! I have to mention here, the orange-white gown is simply exquisite! To be honest, I can watch this movie a zillion time and not get bored with it. I'm glad that she had received awards from notable organizations like the BAFTAs, Golden Globe Award and New York's Film Critics Award. How on earth she had never gotten any Oscar for her great performances in her nominated roles, Edward,My Son , From Here to Eternity, The King and I, Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison, Separate Tables and The Sundowners I'll never know.

Publicity shot for The Innocents (1961).

The Innocents (1961) remains one of my favourite thriller genre film from the 60s. The story was rather weird to me. I never was a fan of thriller and stuffs like that. If I'm ever gonna watch this again, it's gonna be in the mornings or afternoons. The children were as good themselves! Pamela Franklins and Martin Stephens played Flora and Miles impressively. Note that Stephens had worked with Deborah before in Count Your Blessings with Rosanno Brassi and Maurice Chevalier in 1959. Ms Kerr plays Ms. Gidden, the young governess for the two children hired by their uncle. I've never watch Deborah with such facial expression and tones that kind of creeps me out a little. It's amazing, how much she can do.

A scene from Count Your Blessings (1959), with Brazzi, Stephens and Mona Washbourne.

A scene in The Sundowners (1960) , with Robert Mitchum.

Besides all these I had the chance to watch some other great films with Deborah in it collaborating with other great actors and actresses of the then Golden Hollywood era like Clark Gable, David Niven, Spencer Tracy, Walter Pidgeon, Yul Brynner, Robert Mitchum, Greer Garson, Angela Lansbury, Jean Simmons, Rita Hayworth, Gladys Cooper and etc. Here are some movies I've watched in random order, The Hucksters (1947), The Proud and Profane (1956), Quo Vadis (1951), If Winter Comes (1947), The End of the Affair (1955), The Journey (1959), Count Your Blessings (1959), The Innocents (1961) and more.

With her gone on 16 October two years ago, life was rather dull knowing the news. What she had left us remains as pure enjoyment which shows audiences her strength and versatility as an actress. She had played characters from almost all existing genre during her time and ours. From comedy, melodrama, adventure, thriller, drama, musical and history. In such a way I would like to say that she had left us all, a body of work no other actresses can compare nor replace. She was Deborah Kerr.

"An artist of impeccable grace and beauty, a dedicated actress whose motion picture career has always stood for perfection, discipline and elegance." - 1994, Honorary Oscar Award.

* Hold The Dream is a British two-part miniseries made in 1986. Starred Jenny Seagrove, Stephen Collins and Deborah Kerr.

Feelings

2009-08-17T23:02:00.005+08:00

A view of a sleeping family

Concord, MA, US - December 1959

by Ralph Morse

With my hair all messed up during my sleep. I woke up to the voice of my mother asking me, where my bottle was. She searched and searched then asked me again. I just made a "Uhhhh" sound and pointed to my bag with my head face down hugging my pillow. I think she took it out from my gray school bag and walked out. I laid on my bed like that for another minute and took my iPod out to ask reality hit me back.

Astronauts James McDivitt and Edward White and wives laughing at a press conference.

Houston, TX, US - 1965

by Francis Miller

School was rather a blend of gloominess, laughter and some sarcasm too! Biology class was filled with more laughter than usual, in fact it was the first time I sense something different about my teacher this morning. Perhaps it's the way she talked and joked with us. I sensed that, she really cared about us. In the field of studies and health. During the end of the period, we already stood up and said thank you. She stopped a while and quickly took up the mic again and told us to really study hard and promise her that. Maybe it was just me. I tried not to be skeptical. And will not.

People waving goodbye to Greyhound bus driver Harry Huter.

June 1949 by Tony Linck

I got the news on Saturday. My Additional Mathematics teacher is gonna leave us after August. She had been promoted and have to transfer to another school to hold that post. It was the most quiet class I've ever sit in during add maths. Perhaps that's because all of us knew she will be going and felt bad about how we treated her before this. It's no use now, isn't it? Just like how we discussed about 'The Return' last week.

"We never appreciate things while they are still here until they're really gone."

Man standing on ferry dock looking out at the HMS Duke of York.

Hong Kong, China - September 1947

by John Florea

How ironic is that? My class rep can't help but cry whenever she thinks about it. When I heard the news, I wasn't sure what my feelings were. I just kept quiet and still for a moment. That time there was only five of us in the class. And today, just then, I felt bitter.

Lovely day!

2009-08-05T15:43:00.004+08:00

Connie Miller T.V. Weather Girl.

1962, by A. Y. Owen.

The weather is perfect for a walk in the park! It's been quite chilly these couple of days, especially during the blue hours and mid-mornings. You might perhaps sense that I'm feeling a little lighthearted today - well you're quite right.

Connie Miller T.V. Weather Girl.
1962, by A. Y. Owen.

Classes are getting interesting and are filled with the joys of spring! Today was perhaps, the day where I had cracked myself up the most. Well, it wouldn't and shouldn't be a surprise when you're having classmates like mine. But sometimes, they just breaks your heart and even the faith you have in them. They are rather very much predictable because of the seconds, minutes and hours we've spend with each other over the years. On the other hand, I myself as I'd dare to say, is rather unpredictable. I could burst out laughing anytime, or just starts frowning all of a sudden. Maybe that just because there is still a borderline between me and them.

Connie Miller T.V. Weather Girl.

1962, by A. Y. Owen.

But aren't all of us mankind, unpredictable?

I'm Trying

2009-08-04T20:02:00.014+08:00

Brownie Scout Betty Ann Hunt writing to girl in Europe.

US, April 1950. Photo by Yale Joel.

It's the month of August already! But it seems like just yesterday for me to blog again. I think my writing bug jumped off my head recently, 'cause I don't really feel like writing these few weeks. Form fives' SPM trials are very, very near. I'm afraid I might freak out when 1st September comes. To be honest, I have no idea how far my studies have gone. It's ridiculous, really. I think I've been wondered off from my focus these past weeks. It's really disappointing to realize that. But I guess now I can make up some plans or strategy to step up my game. I think the Students Affairs teacher had mentioned this twice during some June/July morning assemblies,

"... All of you better pull up your socks, your trials are just a few months away .."

People trying to push a snowbound car.

February 1960. Photo by George Silk

I went walking around the shopping complex yesterday with some friends and then my aunt. Here's what happened, I forgot totally about class finishing early yesterday. So instead of sitting in the library to study, I tagged along my friends. Then I called my mom, and found out that my aunt was there too! So in the end we walked around, and guess what? I found the cardigan I wanted. But I was too broke to purchase it. Really pathetic huh? But, that's exactly what window shopping means, at least to me. The theory? Window shopping is like looking and staring at the things you want, but you ain't gonna buy them, because you don't really need them and it's wasting money.

Chilly child wearing a sock cap and writing down homework assignment.

Baltimore, MD, US - 1953. Photo by Mark Kauffman

I might post something again later. Right now, I think I'll go get some August writing bug from the garden. I wonder if they'll be there, it's 8 o'clock.

The Decision Has Been Made

2009-07-15T20:06:00.007+08:00

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.
(by Ralph Crane)

Oh finally! After two weeks of a roller-coaster ride, a decision was finally made. I have been attending the rehearsals for our drama, 'Puteri Hang Li Po' over the past week. It has been a fun and tiring ride so far. I do admit, although I had been doubting and losing my temper during our early rehearsal timing last week about this musical. Suddenly when one of our teacher brought in a professional in the theatrical scene, the whole thing become so much more interesting and fun to do! When he stepped on the stage and into our scenes, the atmosphere becomes so real and drama-like. He had taught us a lot of things about performing theater-like shows and musicals. I would say, he had a flair about him on stage giving us directions and while doing it with us.

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.

(by Ralph Crane)

Another question that had popped up in my previous post was about my accounting classes. I've decided to quit attending the classes under another teacher outside. I could not cope with the time, as there are so on-goings events in school particularly on that day of my class. I'm not saying I'm giving up on accounts. I would hope for a grade B3 for my SPM and trials. But that would be impossible without guidance. I'm now ~~depending~~ learning on from my school teacher and of course, doing revision myself. The word 'depending' seems so distant and useless in my sentence that I've decided to cut it off like how I did in my writings.

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.

(by Ralph Crane)

This month and the next one will be awfully busy. I should stop thinking and put my thoughts into action. The time to study and to change is now. This my dear readers, is something very hard to do - with all the distraction around me and the fact that I have so little patience to change. But we shall see where this brings me then.

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.

(by Ralph Crane)

The end hypothesis of this post - How will these decision effect Rochelle C and where will Rochelle C go from her decision?

The inference is quite blurry for now, but what will the outcome be?

The conclusion shall be witnessed by myself and those around me.

A Decision Has To Be Made

2009-07-02T22:00:00.007+08:00

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.

(by Ralph Crane)

"You are a coward, if you don't take up a challenge against yourself."

That particular quote coming from my class teacher kept ringing in my ears since this morning. Am I a coward for wanting to quit half-way through my accounting classes? I guess I am. I saw my accounting paperwork today, it was ridiculous. I wonder if I would ever had the motivation to work as hard for my history as for my accounts. It's really intimidating that I have this kind of thought. It feels like I'm giving up on something I thought I wanted so much at first. It has always been like this ever since I was young. I remember those piano classes, art classes and Japanese classes. But sometimes fate destined us to want to do something we really like and could have continue on but yet, there's always the obstacle in the middle. Isn't life funny? I haven't have the guts to tell my dad yet. But mom already knew about it.

Meeting of the Board of Supervisors Which Ended Today (1961)

In A Decision Against Forest Lawn, 1961.

(by Ralph Crane)

And there's another thing going on, the sketch we're playing and in practicing for the coming award day. It is suppose to be for a state level competition in Terengganu. I'm in the midst of another decision of wanting to continue in the sketch or not. I don't think I can fully commit into the sketch with the current going-ons. Trials for my O-levels are getting nearer; revisions are not done yet; time is running along fast. So what is it now? Which way shall I go? Am I a coward for not taking up a challenge against myself?

Cleaning Day

2009-06-28T23:52:00.004+08:00

As I sit here listening to Taylor Swift's, 'The Way I Loved You' something sensible hit my brain. No, it's not about boys. I'm so sorry to disappoint you and yet happy to please my mom and dad. Haha, not bad. Anyway, I was 'wall-to-walling' with a friend of mine on FB. It was kind nice to talk to her again after quite some time. I mean, seeing her so happy and contented with her job. I began to think, about my own future. What will I bring myself to huh? I wonder.

Officers candidates cleaning their room.

Miami Beach, FL, US - 1942 (by Myron Davis)

Well, anyway! I'm gonna clean my room tomorrow after school. After having a scoop of ice-cream. I'll draw myself a plan tomorrow during recess in school. Don't worry, I will transform myself into one of those brave officers! Only tomorrow I'm on my own.

Benign Neglect

2009-06-17T20:10:00.006+08:00

A man knocking on a door that has the Mason's insignia on it. Lexington, MI, US; September 1956.

(by Grey Villet)

I've been knocking on Ms. Lazy's door for these past few weeks. Yes, right after the break. Can you believe it? It's already mid-June! The weather is getting warmer with each day passing. I finally had my hair cut again on Monday. I hope it rains soon. People are getting sicker, plants are wilting and yet, there's nothing we can do about it.

Leveled city of Rotterdam resulting from ignored German ultimatum ordering Dutch commander of city to cease fire delivered to him at 10:30 a.m. on May 14, 1940; at 1:22 p.m., German bombers set whole inner city of Rotterdam ablase, killing 30,000 of its inhabitants. Rotterdam, The Netherlands in 1940.

(source: LIFE)

Well anyway I'll have to admit that I've been neglecting my blog these few months - and will also be continuing to ignore it these coming weeks. As the date for my trials are coming soon, I can't help but feel sad and disappointed with my first term examination scores. They are so low! Worst than my March's monthly test.

I hope I'll be able to cope up with my studies very soon. ASAP! I can't afford to get low grades in my trials. I'm signing off here, take care!

Great Script, Great Casts, Great Wrap-up

2009-05-31T16:50:00.011+08:00

巾帼枭雄 [Rosy Business] Promo Poster

(Source: tvb.com)

I've just finished chasing over TVB's current most successful costume drama series, 巾帼枭雄 (Rosy Business). I must admit, it has been such a long time since I've been amazed and intrigued to watch a costume series. To be honest, I was really excited to watch this drama because of Sheren Tang, Wayne Lai and Kara Hui. But as the story continues, I find almost all the actors and actresses are very good in their parts. I especially like Susan Tse, who plays the First wife of Cheung Kiu. The ending was very despairing. But I think it was perfect to sum up the whole drama.

Finale Night (Source: tvb.com)

In my opinion the series become so successful is perhaps because of the great script that was very well written - it is very different from any other series TVB had ever made. The casts were excellent in their roles; do notice that almost 90% of the casts are all well experienced actors and actresses, and I do agree that each of the characters they played, has their own personality which stands out in the drama. I personally love the fact that they had fully exploited the use of the music. The conduction of the music is absolutely perfect with the situation and the path the story was going. The costumes complements the characters very well too. As a fan of writing, I personally love the script very very much and also the leading casts. Overall I think, it deserved the popularity and the praises it has earned (and still earning!). The ratings were very high indeed, the finale's rating was 42; which finally peaked at 47 points! Congratulations to every single one, TVB need to make more drama series like this.

Finale Night (Source: tvb.com)

I don't really think that a sequel should be made. Although I do understand that audiences would like to see more of the casts. But, I think maybe, a different story line with different characters but with the same casts in it would be a good change and a great chance for fans to catch them on TV again. I hope they would do something like that, as I myself, secretly hope to see these casts collaborate again, especially Sheren and Wayne. I must say this, they do haven a great chemistry on screen. Yes? :)

Joyeux Anniversaire!

2009-05-17T00:10:00.003+08:00

A rather delicious piece of black forest cake.

Had a pleasantly quiet birthday. Thank you to all your wishes!

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag zu mir!

~..15th May..~

Pfeiffer

2009-04-29T23:58:00.006+08:00

Michelle Pfeiffer potrait by Nicolas Guerin. February 2009.

(Source: Corbis)

Two minutes till 30th April 2009.

Two minutes till the end of day 29th April 2009.

Two minutes left to post up a birthday wish post.

I don't need two minutes to find a great photo of Michelle.

Happy Birthday Michelle Pfeiffer!

Backstay

2009-04-29T21:47:00.008+08:00

Old Manchester Memorial Hospital, 1958. (by Walter Sanders)

"I'll suggest you to put a backstay to support your ankle. Also to let the ligaments to grow stronger."

I finally went to the Pantai Putri Hospital's Orthopaedic Specialist this morning. I can't believe it costs so much just for that darn ankle! I hope the insurance company allow us to claim the costs.

It wasn't my first time there, this time the place looked and felt much vibrant rather than gloomy. I remember scarcely, I was there visiting my mom after giving birth to my now 13 years old sister. It was fun to walk around that time. But I hardly remember anything else. I do however remember that the room was quite large and the first thing I did was I went and visit around the toilet - curious. This time, the place was so nice, I felt quite happy in it. Seeing people walking to and fro; nurses, doctors and some biomedical people doing there daily chores in the hospital makes me feel like I want to be one of them. I guess the trip to the hospital ignited a very weird feeling inside me of wanting to be in the medical field. That would be hard, since I'm not particularly fond of Chemistry.

An x-ray machine and the table. (Sourced from Wikipedia user, BrokenSphere)

We spent around 5 hours in the hospital today. Most of the time waiting for the x-ray radiology department to get my leg x-rayed and the report to be out. I had to wait for about an hour and a half for my turn to be x-rayed and then another 30 minutes for the report. The x-ray machine was kinda cool actually. Inside the radiology department, there were a lot of other rooms for other purposes which are also under the radiology dept. I don't remember what the names were, something-ray and some other abbreviation used. I was asked to sit on the table and put my foot on top of a piece of something. Haha! I held my tongue wanting to asked the person in charge (is it a radiologist?) whether his job was fun or not. I forgot to ask, what his job was called. So dumb of me. Anyway, on my next appointment with the doctor, I will ask him lots and lots of questions since the consultant fees wasn't cheap either.

German artillery fire bursting on the edge of American hospital ward tents during the battle for the Anzio area.

Italy, March 1944. (by George Silk)

After examining the x-ray photo (is that what you call those things?) the doctor suggested a backstay to support my ankle. We went down to the casualties (emergency dept.) and waited again. Not very long wait. Then I was called to followed the emergency ward assistant inside. It was my first time going in. I was so curious, looking around like a weirdo. Inside there were 3 separate bed with those usual hospital curtains (not very sure if that's a correct term) around the beds. I was send into another room. There was a bed and lots of other medical things. It was kinda interesting actually. I was very eager to see what and how the doctor prepared the bandage and the backstay thing. But then he asked me to lay down on the bed, which makes it easier to bandage my ankle. Luckily I kinda saw how he bandaged it and so hopefully afterwards I know how to re-bandage my ankle after my bath.

I'm given another week off to rest. But I think I will be back in school next week, with a huge problem - I don't know how I'm gonna walk with this thing on. It's gonna be darn dirty if I walked on it. And that's not good at all! I'm still thinking what I'm gonna do about it. And my dear cousin's wedding is on this Sunday night and a Chinese ceremony on Saturday morning. I'm still wondering about that too. Oh well, let's hope all will be well soon!

Take care!

P/S: I would love to post some of the photos I've taken today, but my USB ports doesn't work. So instead I have to transfer them into my dad's laptop and send them to my own email through another email. I will see what I can do.

2nd P/S: I really hate to say this here, but I just can't put the damn thing over my mind. The bloody waiting and my ankle thing costs RM500 ++ which I totally regretted going to the hospital. Should've went to the general hospital or some other clinic. I hate wasting money on my ankle. Darn it! I really hope that we can claim that from the health insurance company. I feel so dumb and useless and disappointed. Totally disappointed in my stupidity of not listening to my mum. Somebody kick me hard please when we have sparring in the future. Damn!!

une cheville foulée

2009-04-28T21:57:00.005+08:00

A man wrapping Stephen Sanford's hurt ankle. (by Nina Leen)

I've had had a bad fall the other day which resulted a sprained ankle. Now it's swollen like the xylem bark ringing experiment. You will have to remove all the external tissues including the phloem and cambium of the stem so now only the xylem remains. Then a layer of petroleum jelly is covered over the exposed xylem. After about 3 to 4 weeks, a bulge will form on the upper part of the ring which contains sugar.

But anyway back to my ankle. I was wondering for a long long time whether to see the doctor or not. But I had just went to the Chinese 'sifu' to 'fix' my leg (I have to find out that word). So it's better and I can finally walk! But it's still swollen. Elyse recommended me to go get a doctor or get a AcuStop plaster. ~~Which I have no idea what it is.~~ I've just googled it, the indication reads: Treatment of signs & symptoms of arthritis deformans, periarthritis humero-scapularis, tendinitis, peritendinitis, humeral epicondylitis, myalgia, swelling, pain of traumatic origin. Hmm, not bad! I will see what happens tomorrow.

Oh, I wish it will heal soon. I don't want to wear slippers/flip-flops to my best cousin's wedding this Sunday! I wish I can show you how my ankle's condition is. But after all, its not really a big deal isn't it? I wish I could post up a photo of my ankle here but the photoshop just doesn't work. Anyway, I'll keep it to myself and those around me. =) Alright, I'm signing off here. Take good care everyone!

P/S: I will never ever play badminton again. Badminton is now, SO not my cup of tea.

Chocolat

2009-04-24T22:40:00.012+08:00

What a heck of a week in school! There were so many things to cope in and essay writing - my gosh! Now back to what I wanted to write this evening, Ada's Cadbury Cashew Chocolate block had gone missing two days ago. I felt quite bad since her chocolate bar was placed under in my desk. To be honest, I did not notice it was there - although it was already long gone when I finally got back to the class and sat at my place after the mini education fair the school had organized that Wednesday. Apart from that, Elyse brought me a bar of Beryl's Camior Almond Milk Chocolate during her school trip to the highlands last weekend. It was extremely sweet of her - that's one of my favourite chocolate bars that one can get in a town called Ipoh. I opened it during our additional mathematics (calculus) class last night and shared it with her and Yee Leng. One of the reasons why Camior became one of my favourite is because of the almonds Beryl had generously mixed into their fine milky chocolate. Besides that one, she gave me a mini Tiramisu Milk Chocolate too! I instantly fell in love with it. Yum! Dare I say, Beryl's had become one of Malaysia's best chocolate manufacturer.

I've become a chocolate addict these few days. I hope it won't last long to make me gain that extra pound which I am not interested in. Haha! In order to satisfy my chocolate craving these couple of days I picked up a bar of Danone's Chipsmore Chocolate Coated biscuits. Let me work out the numbers here.

Started picking it up on Wednesday : 1 bar

Continued picking it up on Thursday : 2 bars

Continued today, Friday : 3 bars

Total bars (so far) : 6 bars

Each packet contains 2 biscuits; total : 12 chocolate coated biscuits

Oh my gosh! 12 freaking chocolate coated biscuits in three days! I have to stop. I must not forget oneself. That reminds me of something. I dedicate this post to my lovely friend Yuen Wai - the chocolate lover.

I chose Grief

2009-04-12T14:14:00.005+08:00

I just want to post this here very much, my talk with Chantel lasted about 10 minutes or more. But the thing I remembered the most from the conversation was this,

"...you cry for ten minutes, and then your life just moves on."

- Chantel Marion

Marine lance corporal James C. Farley crying in office over death of friends during Vietnam War.

(1965 taken by Larry Burrows)

I just realized that the caption for the photo makes so much sense to what I'm feeling right now. Except that, the things in my mind are not really dead for the pride and honour of their country and people. I would say the things in my mind - they are dead in the water. I will try to get over it. Because I must; I have to.

Shall it be Grief nor Joy

2009-04-12T12:44:00.004+08:00

Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 Psycho Starring Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles, John Gavin.

I couldn't help but kept thinking over silly things. I wish I can find the answer where science had before this found the answer to why the brain would keep thinking of the same matter over and over again. I'm beginning to think that I'm turning into a psycho. I need a psychotherapist.

To Think Critically

2009-04-07T22:06:00.004+08:00

Aeronautics Engineer John Huth employed at Rand Corporation Research Institute.

(CA, US. Sept 1958) by Leonard Mccombe

We were studying literature today for our English class. The novel was, "The Return" by K.S. Maniam.

I suddenly found myself very much dumbfounded. I realized that I could not think critically. I don't even know what it meant by thinking critically. In the end I've made up my mind to search for ways and the meaning of 'thinking critically' to embed it into my restless brain.

To think critically. Will I be able to do it?

2009-03-29T16:39:00.004+08:00

It's official, I'm in a terribly sad and depress mood since last week. It's getting worse day by day. I don't know what to write more. I just feel like crying out loud and throw everything aside and concentrate on my writing. If only I'm allowed to do that.

Sadness surrounds me

2009-03-24T23:18:00.008+08:00

Photo Source: AllPosters.com - Link to the photo

It's gonna be a busy week, with all the deadlines and homeworks. I'm not sure why but I have this weird sad feeling in me after I heard what my school account teacher told the class today. She will be going to Paris for 3 years and so. ~~I still have to confirm whether it is gonna Paris or somewhere else tomorrow,~~ she speak so softly, knowing that she is one those humble and well respected people, the matter was not fussed all over the school. If she did, then we could have known this weeks ago! To leave for a city like Paris in France for 3 years, she would've been told about the decision from her husband's company months beforehand. This weird feeling inside me, I'm not sure if it's envy or just sadness to have another good teacher going abroad. Perhaps both, but I would say the feeling of missing her would be more than envy. I'm in grief.